Unapologetic Cheerleader
Jamie Lee Curtis cheering for Michelle Yeoh at Golden Globes; Photo Credit: NBC
Last week, I attended a women’s networking event. It was a full day event on Thursday with a kick off celebration the night prior. I decided to attend both to make the most of my ticket purchase and the opportunity to meet and learn from incredible women in our community. I showed up to the kickoff event feeling pretty self-conscious about not having a title while others around me doled out business cards and elevator pitches like they were high fives. I left inspired by the women I met but struggling with how to describe where I am on my career journey to an event space full of people who were eager to know.
The next day, I met a corporate attorney whose face completely dropped when I told her I was blogging in between a career shift. I felt so deflated. Then, I heard from a stay at home mom at our table how she was empowering her daughter by helping her transition out of a cycle of generational trauma and I was reminded that we are not defined by our titles but by who we are and how we make others feel.
One of the presenters shared the same image pictured above of Jamie Lee Curtis at the Golden Globe Awards fiercely celebrating her colleague Michelle Yeoh. We were called to similarly celebrate those around us. As I observed interactions throughout the rest of the day, I saw that was happening. One presenter dropped the f-bomb several times. Another leaned on scripture to deliver her message. They both praised each other for their messages. I met women who worked in corporate settings, those who had started their own businesses, those who operated as full-time stay at home moms, and those who were juggling multiple callings all at once. There were women of all ages, colors, sexual preferences, religious backgrounds, etc. What I loved most was that in a room full of differences, we could all cheer for one another, even if in small ways. The corporate attorney later made a point to find me and compliment my outfit. I took that as her show of support for my individuality and creativity.
Later that day, when someone from the audience stood up to answer a question, I saw my friend Erika turn to her table and say, “damn, women are smart!” She didn’t sit quietly and think, “I wish I had come up with that answer.” She loudly proclaimed how smart this other woman was, and more importantly how smart we all were collectively. Rather than looking at this woman’s wisdom as a threat to her own, she celebrated the fact that it empowered us all. She embraces the ethos popularized by John F. Kennedy that “a rising tide lifts all boats.” That is the kind of cheerleader we could all use in our lives. That is the type of cheerleader I want to be for others. That is the cheerleader I want to be for myself.
Quite honestly, I probably would not have started this blog without the cheerleaders in my life. I casually mentioned that I’d like to write a memoir to a friend who had graduated with an English degree. She had (at least temporarily) given up the writing career path after struggling to get a novel published, yet she told me I should. She said my writing style was “lyrical.” I knew I was capable of working with numbers, of creating, running, and selling a business. I didn’t think I could write, partially because I didn’t have any formal training in it, but primarily because I had been raised to think I was not the creative one of our family, of my friend group, of the community at large. This small vote of confidence from one person was enough to encourage me to start blogging. I decided I would do it for myself if nothing else. It would be cathartic to write about my lived experiences, including the highs and the lows.
Then, I had another dear family member call me specifically to tell me, “I just read your first few blog posts. I knew you could do a lot of things, but I didn’t know you could write. You’re really good.” This gave me another boost. The following week, I received a text from another family member with an English degree who I admire greatly. I told her not to read my posts too carefully for fear she would only find all the faults that needed editing. I have never felt like I was cool enough, smart enough, or a good enough mom to live up to this person’s standards. The words she shared with me about what my writing had meant to her will forever hold a place in my heart and continue to encourage me. She was vulnerable in telling me what she felt while reading my posts, and in turn she was validating my own vulnerability as not only cool/smart/good enough but appreciated. Last week, one of my business mentors who writes so poetically told me she binged my blog and followed up with “keep writing.” Y’all. Words are powerful. Sentiments are inspirational.
Like a runner on a marathon course being cheered along at every turn, I have been catapulted forward by these voices of support along my journey. However, it doesn’t take pom poms and a megaphone to make an impact. If you’re thinking a kind word, please take this as your sign. Call that person. Text them. Say it out loud at the office, on the sidewalk, in the grocery store. If you can’t cheer for their career move, cheer for their style. Surround yourself with people who unapologetically cheer for you and become that person for yourself. If you need a little empowerment boost, my personal secret is to listen to a Lizzo song and channel her energy! One of my favorite lines of hers is “If I’m shinin’ everybody gonna shine.” Shine on, friends!
