Soaking It Up
Prior to selling my business, the people who know me most intimately cautioned me not to rush into the next “thing.” I thought wrapping most things up related to the sale of the business right before Thanksgiving would allow me to enjoy the holidays and hit the ground running in the new year, but I didn’t set an explicit goal for when I expected to have moved into my next role or venture. I applied for a job in January, already feeling that pressure mounting. My friends were cautiously supportive. I could tell that they were all worried I was moving too quickly (a habit of mine), but they could also see my passion for the type of work I would ultimately be doing if the role worked out. Since then, I’ve realized that was not the right move for me or my family.
If you’re reading this, then you know I have been spending a decent amount of time each week writing, but only 7 posts in calling myself a blogger feels a bit premature. I have also been exploring potential project ideas with other inspiring folks in our community. However, I don’t yet have a business card to hand out. I don’t have a title. When I attended a seminar yesterday and someone from the presenting agency asked what brought me there, I said “I’m just curious.” He appreciated the answer, but I felt awkward not being able to launch into exactly what role I play with a specific organization. I think my discomfort in this stage has become apparent when people ask me how I am and what I’m up to. More accurately, I think my discomfort without a role to call my own has been mistaken for unhappiness. Rather than simply saying that I’m great and enjoying this season, I become sheepish and struggle to find the words to explain the situation (which no one is actually asking for). Then, I hear some version of the same advice once again being echoed. “Oh, take this time to enjoy a break. Don’t rush into the next thing. Soak up your freedom.”
I wanted to use this platform to say out loud as a reminder to myself that I am in fact doing those things. I am thoroughly enjoying this period of flexibility and exploration (as I will now refer to it). While I am actively pursuing my next career, I am also enjoying the lack of constraints I have on my time for this brief period. I get to exercise outside almost daily, and on no set schedule, simply chasing the sun. I have made coffee shops my office, enjoying delicious bagels and honey lavender lattes, justifying them as cheaper than rent for a co-working space desk. I have found time for a couple massages and enjoyed the ability to soak in the relaxation without rushing off to the next meeting or appointment right after. I have volunteered my time but ultimately gained more than I have given in those scenarios. Most importantly, I have gotten to spend precious time with so many amazing women in my life.
I recently had coffee with a friend who was about to have exploratory surgery and end a 3 year long relationship. I saw her the next week and got to give her a hug after she had learned that she was diagnosed with endometriosis. Another friend and I were able to pamper ourselves with mid-week foot soaks and lunch before we both had to tackle some stressful work-related situations later that week (yes, I am in the homestretch but not quite finished with bridal business related tasks). I got to spend a night in Nashville with one of my college roommates for an amazing concert. We also went to a spa and felt like we were being punk’d by the services rendered. Maybe I’ll share all the details another day, because they are too many to list here. We were just texting again about it and she said that may have been exactly what God intended for us that day, since we needed the laughter more than the relaxation. My friend is an incredible daughter and caregiver to her mom who also suffers from dementia, so I think her perspective was spot on. I passed a former colleague downtown and scheduled a lunch date with her to catch up. She let me know that her divorce had just been finalized. Next week, I will meet my mom and her caregiver in Asheville to treat them both to lunch as a surprise for my mom’s 70th birthday.
As a small business owner I often felt as though I missed out on important events, and once I had a child on top of my entrepreneurial responsibilities, that feeling was exacerbated. I recognize that I will soon likely be in a similar position with career obligations in addition to personal ones, so for this moment, I truly am relishing this opportunity for connection. To all my friends who have offered me your sage advice, please know that I am heeding it.
